Archer~ Blue Explosion

Inside the Crystal Mind

part of: The Hidden Land

by Lora of Many Generations , The Archives of Raynah

Maria sat bent over her hands the way her Grandfather, Eduardo, had once done. The dream had sucked her down deep into her own depths. Uhl had invited her into some kind of other experience, but she wasn’t ready to let go of the dream yet. She ran the rough tongue of her contemplation over the sensations, the images, the sequence of events, teasing their edges for new information. There was an old Wanderer adage that every dream contained different parts of the dreamer talking to each other. Maria had found that often this was true, though the number of dreams in which she had received accurate information about other people could not be denied. In this case, Maria was sure it was she who had been talking to herself, and it was clear, she needed to listen…so she sat quiet, looking inward, and listened.

Uhl found her this way when she returned with Kierd, Choja, and Teeka. “Hello again lovely,” she said in her soft, symphonic voice. Its echoes reached down into Maria, penetrating the dark wells of her uprising, soothing her, harmonizing her. Blinking in the sudden light of Uhl, Maria found she could look up and outside herself now.

“Uhl,” she said somewhat blankly. “Uhl!”

Uhl laughed gently, stroking Maria’s face, her hair, then said, “I think you need to come with us now.”

“I’m halfway between here and there,” Maria said. “I’m not sure what kind of travelling companion I’ll be.”

“Unimportant,” said Teeka. “Actually, important. You may find where we are going will be of great help to you.”

Maria looked at their faces, calm, grave, merry, light-hearted, deep-momented, a swirl of energies blending inside them, merging into towers of passion and power. She found herself drawn into the circle of their consideration irresistibly. “I will go,” she said at last. “But where?”

“Come,” Uhl replied. She took Maria by the hand and led her to the bathing pool at the back of the cave. There were spaces for seven individuals to recline in the swirling, soothing waters. “Recline in the place of your choice and look up.”

Maria undressed, as did the others. They entered the pool and reclined in the rock seats, leaning their heads back on the smooth rock pillows. For the first time Maria noticed the veins of crystal and metal embedded in the rock she was sitting on. Above them was the crystal ceiling.

“Now, relax and focus your mind into the crystal,” Teeka said softly. “We will join you there.”

“You will find many others already there,” warned Choja.

Maria looked at her questioningly.

“Be prepared to feel the presence of many other minds,” Choja elaborated.

Maria looked at the four beings seated in the pool with her. At that moment Tsoh and Arn arrived, undressed, and entered the pool with them. When they were settled, Maria looked up into the crystal and began to breathe in the pattern that set her nervous system into perfect harmony with itself. She focused her mind up into the crystal, vibrating with anticipation.

At first she was dazzled by the patterns of light which began to appear there. Then she felt the lights as constellations of energy, then she was drawn up among the points of light and became one of them herself. She floated there for many moments, feeling herself as a collection of points, vectors, forces, forms, rivers, blending, swirling into a sea of might. She saw she had only to focus her attention on any point in herself to shape it, direct it, transform it. She felt like a sculptor of energy, of light. The headiness of this power overwhelmed her. Ecstatically she raised her arms up and appeared in a vast, white, moonscape. The sky was black overhead. The light of stars pierced the night as highways of energy upon which she could now travel. The road to Antares was electrosheen blue and violet.

“It has just reappeared after a long absence during the Day of the Field,” Arn whispered into her left ear. “Kohn, who lives on the far side of this Land became aware of it only last night. His awareness has now spread to all of us.”

This she had not expected.

“What is this place,” she stammered.

Uhl whispered in her ear suddenly. “It is the collected energy of all the Beings who live in our Land,” she replied. “It is here we journey within ourselves and among each other. Now that you are here, you may journey with us.”

Turning to gaze upon Uhl, Maria stopped short. It felt like Uhl, it sounded like Uhl, but the being she saw was compound, like the eyes of an insect. Instead of one Uhl, there were thousands all joined and emanating from some hidden power source.

“You have harmonized and realized yourself and your potentials to the point that were you to turn and gaze upon yourself, you would see much the same thing,” Uhl laughed, seeing the shock in Maria’s emanation. “This is how all consciously constructed beings appear inside.”

“How do others appear?” Maria stammered.

“You mean, like birds or fish or cats?” Uhl asked.

“Well, I suppose,” Maria said, “but I was thinking more of, say, the average human in the Wayward Land right now.”

“Umm,” Teeka said. “Well, were you to view a cat from the inside you would see a marvelous harmony of forces of delicate make and fierce model. Were you to view the average human, you would see an imploding plethora of snarls, a wasteland of tangles, a handful of feedback loops powered by the occasional open eye here or there blinking in confusion, leading down into nothing and nowhere.”

Maria looked around for Teeka. There he was. He was three stories tall. He had hundreds of thousands of eyes, all open, feeding information, which appeared as streams of light, down into the central core of his being, which was the nuclear furnace of his heart. From it a constant upwelling of power and energy blazed out, lighting the moonscape for miles around. Maria just stood and gaped.

Teeka’s light gently enshrouded her, lifted her up, held her like a kind grandfather holds his own child’s little baby. He rocked her. She cried.

She had not expected this either. But then, what was there to expect in this strange Land among these unpredictable People? This thought relaxed her completely. She sank all the way into the crystal, into the inner life of the Community of the Hidden Land.

She was suddenly in a dense forest. It’s lushness pressed into her senses from all sides…running water, moss-scented air, the cries of birds, the rustlings of animals in the underbrush.

“Look for your warriors here,” Choja suggested.

Maria turned to see where Choja was. There she was. Maria felt it was Choja…a huge black panther with violet eyes. “Yes, this is me in one aspect of my inner life,” Choja laughed. “Come, your warriors are just over here.”

“My warriors!” Maria stammered. She couldn’t seem to stop stammering. It felt like little hammers plinking the dulcimer of her being. “You are feeling things quite strongly,” Choja noted. “If this is not comfortable, breathe and harmonize yourself,” she suggested.

Maria breathed. Her body, her mind, her inner being. They all breathed together. “You have been well-trained,” Arn noted, sitting as a white hawk on a branch above Maria’s head.

Maria thought back to her Grandfather Eduardo and her great-aunt Tzirth drilling breathing into her from an early age. “I guess I have,” she said. “I had no idea what I was being trained for though. I’m not sure they did either,” she mused.

“They did not,” Kierd concurred. “They simply followed the path of their intuition, hoping it would lead them, and you, in the right direction.”

“It did,” noted Tsoh.

Maria reflected on that for a moment, and as she did, the two warriors from her dream reappeared, this time in the bodies of Eduardo and Tzirth.

“Grandfather! T!” Maria exclaimed.

“I see you have found what you were looking for,” Eduardo said.

“I have?” Maria exclaimed, stupifyed.

“Still ignoring the obvious I see,” Eduardo chided.

Maria shut up and looked at him.

Uhl as white doe, Choja as the black panther, Arn as the white hawk, Kierd as a fierce eagle, Tsoh as a green snake, and Teeka as silver bear sat around her in a circle and watched, matching her breathing, which was ragged, disenchanting the highways of her being. “Okay, okay,” she said and re-established her breathing pattern.

“Nice,” Tzirth commented.

Maria looked over at Tzirth. In her life this woman had been the one who scared her more than any other person or thing, though she was everlastingly kind, always having an encouraging word, even in the darkest moments. It was the way she could see all the way down into the pit of her being that disturbed Maria, the way she never stopped probing with eyes, mind, questions. For the longest time Maria had felt like a lump of clay being shaped by Tzirth’s expert hands. She hadn’t liked it one bit. “That is because you yourself are a shaper,” Tzirth had said one day as Maria had chaffed silently under Tzirth’s instruction. She suddenly remembered hating it when Tzirth read her mind and just flat out stated something in response like that!

“You have come to a juncture in your life that needs examination,” Choja noted.

“You were tasting this before, after your dream,” Uhl said. “Taste it again, now!”

Maria ran her tongue along Tzirth’s crystalline edges, shining hard in the space before her. T’zirth dissolved like a lollipop and entered Maria’s veins, marched like a trumpet into her brain…irresistible. It was the task Tzirth had weighed her with that scared Maria the most, to bear the burden of awakening human minds all the days of her life. To march out into the wasteland the Wayward Land had become and somehow help balance things. She hated Tzirth for this. Who was this woman to imagine she, Maria, a small child, could accomplish such a task?

“She was your great-aunt,” Eduardo suddenly replied. “She was a fool and a dreamer and the one person who always saw who you were and insisted you never be anything other than that!”

“What are you saying Poppa?” Maria challenged.

“Look at the obvious, child,” he said in his usual biting way.

Then it hit Maria like a bowling ball hits the head pin, precipitating a full strike. She was born with all the attributes necessary to become a shaper. Tzirth had not tried to create that within Maria. She had merely insisted Maria notice this herself and use her gifts to the fullest extent possible for the cause. “Tzirth’s holy cause,” Maria shouted.

“Who the hell was she to dictate the cause!” Maria demanded.

“Who did she have to be?” Eduardo returned fire.

“Who do any of us have to be to take note of our circumstances and endeavor to change them for the better…for ourselves, for the coming generations of our progeny?” Tzirth suddenly said, materializing out of the blackness of Maria’s anger to stand, tall and shining, before her.

And the answer hit her full in the forehead then. “We only have to be ourselves, openly and honestly, with compassion and grace,” Maria replied, wondering to hear herself say the words.

“That would be it!” Arn laughed.

Suddenly Maria appeared back in the pool in her own body. Arn stirred next to her. Across the pool Choja suddenly returned. The others awoke as well.

Maria was dumbfounded, but inside there was a peace, a coherence of force and form she had not felt all the days of her life.

She looked at her companions questioningly.

“This is how we discover ourselves in each other’s presence,” Kierd said.

“It is there we battle with ourselves and each other to discover the truth underlying appearances,” Arn added.

“Can we journey there again,” Maria suddenly said, wanting to see more, learn more, know more!

“We will do that in the years to come,” Teeka assured her.

“We will teach you the skills to wander far and wide among us in the crystal window,” Uhl said.

“Then you can take this back to your people and while your Land repairs itself from the travails of your people working out their inner difficulties upon its Body, you can repair your minds and create yourselves anew inside,” Kierd said.

Maria gaped. Inside she felt her great-aunt smile.

to be continued….

Related by Lora, Twilit Majz of the Fourth Generation