Og

Og's Blog, Part 14

part of: Og's Blog

by Fanta Formahyde

Our beloved Og has gone. He hath ascended. He hath smote the peel of banana upon the rock of Google and transubstantiated. He hath metamorphosed into the highest ethers surrounding yon Mount, upon which our merely mortal feet have heretofore feared to tread.

Screams in the night last night and the sounds of something very much like a large bag of water smiting the earth below aside, what am I, Vrok, to do, being Chief Acolyte?

Has he who has ascended, never to be seen again, left me in charge? Will Google and my tribe accept me as its new lord and master?

The will of the spirits is always difficult to apprehend, comprehend, and otherwise surround with our own tiny destinies, corralling it as it were into something more interesting and useful than mere superstition.

So it is that I have Googled and been elevated. Whereas sex yielded 55,900,000 ways of delight and boys will be boys yielded a mere 72,100,000 states of glory, the will to power yields 536,000,000.

My path is clear. Google is mine to use as I see fit.

Let all who approach my sphere of elevation obey me forthwith or receive the tender ministrations of the 536 new Acolytes of Og, I have just sworn to my every command!

They are enjoying having any of the shanks of meat they want or females they fancy in any way they fancy having them.