Aimea Lunar Reconstruction

Solstice Questions

part of: Aspects of Being

by Scott Outlar

How many times can you set fire to an open field and expect the vegetation to grow back?
How many times can you put a bullet in the same heart and hope that it will repair itself?
How many miles down do you have to dig toward the center of the Earth before you reach somewhere that is somewhat significant to the grand scheme of life that you want to understand?
In other words, how many failures do you have to endure, how many mistakes do you have to make, before something relatively good comes about?
How many questions about the same type of nonsense do you have to ask before you realize the endeavor is pointless?
For God’s sake, man, actions speak much louder than words! So make a move. Start to dance. Burn the fucking field. Pull the trigger on your heart! Just grab the wheel and get the gears in motion. Even if they’re spinning in circled loops, at least there will be movement. Anything is better than the death that stagnation carries around attached to it. That awful, decayed smell of standing still and getting nowhere.
How many fruitless lives must you live and stages of reincarnation must you go through until finally reaching Nirvana?
How many times do you have to lose and watch someone else win before you realize that their success is also yours, for we are all connected?
How many meaningless poems do you have to create before you figure out that metaphorical and allegorical and illusionist literary styles just don’t cut it in the modern age?
How many songs do you have to sing before you come to understand that the music was dead long before Mr. McClain ate his American Pie?
How many relationships do you have to watch crumble into a heap on the dirty, mildewed floor before you find the girl that can actually clean up your messes before they’re even created?
How many drugs do you have to put into your veins before the chemical reaction reaches a point of critical shutdown and the balance of health is so far beyond control that a fix is not what you need, in one sense, and not even possible in another?
How many millions of lives have to die by the sword or the gun or poison gas before humanity reaches an enlightened point of view that makes war obsolete?
How many corrupted leaders have to follow the ugly, distorted, decadent path of greed and power before the average populace gets the courage to do something about the situation?
How many more thousands of years have to pass while societies still follow the same outdated creeds and commandments before they realize that there are different, better, more peaceful, less wrathful ways of living?
How many times do you have to beat your head against the wall before a bloody red stain smears all over the bricks and someone is called upon to clean up the mess and make it look like the event never took place?
How many missiles have to be fired in the name of Jihad before all the hardly holy warriors have died of suicide?
How many recreational drug users will be put in jail, fined and have their lives completely ruined before the laws are changed and our freedoms are truly allowed in a country that was created under the pledge of personal rights?
How many calculations have to go awry before the sacred geometrical equation of life is figured out and the patterns start to fall in place?
How many signs have to pass right before your eyes in dreams and during waking hours before you notice them, seize their advice, and get your life directed on the right course?
How many times must you reach a plateau only to purposefully fall back down to the bottom of the mountain just to remember what the pain felt like?
How many times do you have to bleed before you learn that it is best to keep all your vital fluids inside the body?
How many cycles do you have to repeat before you finally turn the spinning loop into a whirling funnel that is moving in a positive direction?
How many failed encounters must you have with beautiful women before you acknowledge the fact that it is your fault they are driven away?
How many friends will you turn your back on before it is too late to ever return to them?
How far in the wrong direction will you travel before realizing that the opposite way was the path you needed all along?
How many times do you have to battle chemical addictions before you finally overcome, evolve, progress and win the war?
How many jobs do you have to work in a corporate, capitalistic, commercial environment before you return to your dedication of fighting against these same institutions?
How many days of hot red fire do you have to suffer through before you stabilize into a calm blue aura?
How many stars have to fall from the sky, destroying the universe and driving the collective atmosphere into a chaotic fit, before some sort of order is established?
How many lovers will come and go, leaving you lonelier than you have ever been, before you finally find the one you’ve sought after for your entire life?
How many brutal accidents caused by clumsiness do you have to suffer from before you gain some stability and are able to maintain balance through the basic ordeals of life?
How many more days do you have to live with the constant pressure of wanting to change the world and reform society before you accept the fact that you can only do that which you are capable of on an individual basis?
How many sharks do you have to ward off before you see a dolphin?
How many letters of resignation must you pen before you laugh at the fact that you know it’s all a joke and you’ll never really quit?
How many of your heroes have to shoot themselves in the head over despair or depression before you gain the courage to stand taller than they ever did during their weak-willed existences?
How many hurricanes of lies must you withstand before a calm, steady tide hits the shores in which you can bathe and come away from clean?
How many disasters of unprecedented destruction have to use you as their foolish pawn before you learn the game and are able to make the right moves to put nature in checkmate?
How many sores must be tended to before the open wounds heal?
How many abstractions and metaphors have to be dished out before the stuff is just called fairy-tales?
How many astronomical preludes have to revolve around the sun before it finally explodes to reveal our final fate?
How many electrical currents have to be sent out across the air waves of the collective consciousness’ vibration before one is finally picked up and acted on by other energy signatures?
How much longer can I keep this up before I fall over from exhaustion and collapse in a heap on the floor?
How many times can you repeat yourself before the process becomes a boring joke that no one gets, including yourself?
How many problems do you have to face before the correct answers begin to funnel out of the sky and fall right in front of your eyes?
How many questions about life and death and pain and pleasure and growth and decay and chaos and order can be asked before they become meaningless?
How many silver sheets of stationary have to be covered with nonsense before it becomes a rational choice to actually speak words instead of just lacing them on paper?
How many crosses must one man carry before the burden becomes so great that he either falls down and succumbs to the weight or else just sheds them and all their blasphemous meaning?
How many beatings must the children receive from their perverted elders before they realize it is alright to not respect them or give a good Goddamn about what they say?
How many bruises must the apple on the tree sustain before it becomes aware that it was never truly evil and so can now fully bloom?
How many days will turn to night and back again before some new period of life begins?
How many difficult positions must one contort into before they either twist and fracture into shattered pieces or learn to straighten up and move onward?
How many humans will be involved in the process that will change the course of existence?
How many more hours until a Revolution reaches fruition?
How many more songs must we dance to before the symphony sounds off with evolutionary notes?
How many more preliminary acts must we witness before the Renaissance Festival commences?
How many more times must I learn that there is only one way to bring about massive change?
How many of this and that and the other?
How many minds must be pierced before the circle is triangulated and the Phoenix Generation ascends to humanity’s furthest peak in history?
Oh, how many, Lord, how many?